There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. I am sure you know that by now. Marriages are often exposed to disagreements, misunderstandings, problems with the in-laws, financials struggles, difficulties in raising children, domestic issues, sickness, disappointments, and the daily stresses of life. These events may unravel a marriage just as the human body can become sick after exposure to certain viruses. However, just like the human body, healthy marriages are resilient and typically bounce back from the common setbacks experienced by all couples.
But why do some marriages never seem to be able to bounce back while others recover just fine? The answer could be marital malnutrition. For marriages to thrive and withstand the onslaught of marital problems, the relationship needs to be nourished. Without nourishment, just like the human body, marriages begin to shrivel and die. This what the Bible reveals:
Ephesians 5:28-29 (NKJV) 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
One of the most effective ways to nourish your marriage is by cherishing each other. Think about it. When was the time your relationship grew exponentially? Wasn’t it during the courtship phase of your relationship? It was during this stage of your relationship when there was plenty of cherishing and nourishing taking place. Just as the body cannot be healthy without nourishment, the marriage cannot likewise thrive and grow. Below are four things that you can do together to cherish each other and nourish your relationship.
1. Appreciate your spouse’s great qualities.
One of the most powerful ways to cherish your spouse and nourish your marriage is by appreciating your beloved. Before you got married, you likely noticed all the positive attributes of your partner and relatively blind to his or her faults. But what happened after the marriage? Everything was reversed. Suddenly, as though following a script, you become laser-focused on your partner’s faults and less and less mindful of his or her wonderfulness. Why not reverse it again and purposely look for positive qualities about your spouse. Certainly, there will be many things that you can appreciate about your husband or wife. Catch them doing something good and appreciate it with sincerity. Human beings can also be wonderfully enriching. What initially attracted you the most about your spouse? Purposely look for those qualities that make you smile and make you say I am glad I married him/her. Purposely discover new positive attributes and express your appreciation of these discoveries.
Nutrition Boost 1: Look for at least three good things about your spouse throughout the day and write them down. Do this for a week and be pleasantly wowed by the experience.
2. Brag to others about how awesome your spouse is.
Do you remember when you were first dating? You bragged about him/her to your best friend, your co-worker, your parents, your siblings, and even your cat. Nothing can be more destructive than publicly complaining about your spouse. On the other hand, nothing can be more nourishing to your relationship than publicly appreciating your husband or wife. In other words, brag about your man. Brag about your woman. Tell the whole world how totally awesome your beloved is.
Nutrition Boost 2: Highlight something that you deeply appreciate about your spouse and post it on Facebook or other social media outlets. Include a picture of the two of you enjoying life together. Preach to the whole world how much you love your spouse.
3. Spend plenty of time together doing fun things.
When was the last time you went out on a romantic date? When was the last time you went on an adventure together? Healthy marriages are not built on boredom. They are infused with copious amounts of fun. Laughing together nourishes the relationship like fruits and vegetables nourishes the body. It is simple classical conditioning. The more you spend positive moments together, the more you associate your spouse with positive moods.
Nutrition Boost 3: Talk to your spouse and plan something fun to do together this week. Then, just do it and enjoy life together.
4. Connect intimately.
You share your most intimate thoughts with the people you cherish the most. When your friend tells you a secret that only you know about you feel special and a strong bond develops. If there is a friend that you ought to confide with about your most secret thoughts it should be your spouse. Be open to your spouse about your dreams, your hurts, and your soul. Do not be shy. Intimacy requires risk and trust. It may be a bit uncomfortable at first to be bare before your spouse. But it is this kind of authenticity that makes you stronger together amid adversity.
Nutrition Boost 4: No matter how old you are, you are never too old to dream. If you have stopped dreaming you should start ASAP. Tell your spouse about your dreams and ambitions and help each other towards the fulfillment of your most daring desires.
Cherishing each other will not take away marital problems. We are broken people living in a broken world. Eventually, problems will arise that will threaten your marriage. By cherishing each other, you will create a well-nourished, robust, and healthy marriage that will withstand whatever the world throws against it.
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